Before Her
by The Forbidden Fox
Summary: [PostKH2] You were my first true memory, Sora. Was I yours?


**Note:** Hello all! Look I'm alive! But still not updating my other stories...hehehe, yeah. Anyways, this is my first Kingdom Hearts fanfic! Aren't you all excited! I am. The idea came to me in the shower (funny place to be thinking of stuff like this, I know but...) and it takes place after the ending of Kingdom Hearts II. But it most certainly can be read without the game, because its nothing but crap from my demented imagination. Um, well...its told from Riku's point-of-view and he's just being emo and angsty. You know nothing's better than a little Riku-angst and, well, Riku is like the Master of all things Emo...so.

**Warnings:** Some my consider some things a bit slashy. But it doesn't have to be, if you dislike the stuff. Hehe. And beware the angst!

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Kingdom Hearts...let's just say the darker side of Disney would be exposed to all! So, obviously I don't. All characters belong to their respective owners.

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**_Before Her_**

Do you remember how we met, Sora? I do; though you were probably to young to recall it. It was one of my first memories. I can't remember being born, or the face of the doctor who delivered me, or my first birthday. But I remember the day we met. You were my first true memory, Sora. Was I yours?

It was your birthday. You were turning one; so, that would have made me about two. Funny, most would think someone would never be able to bring back memories from that early in life, but I can. Your mother had invited my parents, knowing I was around your age,hoping perhaps we'd become friends.

Do you remember how you took my hand in yours, linking your frosting-covered fingers with mine? The start of our friendship, I guess…

Remember that silly promise we made when you were three? I was over at your house, we'd been playing. What about when you screamed and tried to take refuge on my head? I was rather confused, but you did pull my hair pretty hard, Sora. There was a spider. Who would have thought? The future savior of the worlds was scared of spiders.

After I managed to detangle your grip from my hair, I grabbed the nearest thing and smashed the bug, hoping to shut you up. Unfortunately, the nearest thing had been your stuffed monkey. I remember you made your dad bury it. Of course you were a bit sad at first, so in an effort to cheer you up, I gave you a new one. You never let it go.

From that day forth, you called me your hero. Hah, me? Your hero, Sora? You made me swear to kill every and all spiders you saw. Riku the Spider Squisher. Well, at least I was good at something. I'd protect you anyway I could, Sora. You know that, right?

Do you remember all those nights we slept togther? You would have to have remembered some. The two of us each had two homes. You'd never catch us in our own bed for more than two nights in a row. I was either in yours or you in mine.

We'd fall asleep the same way every night. Your hand would slip into mine, since you had a terrible fear of the dark back then, and I'd stay up a little longer, sitting crossed-legged under the sheets. A few times you'd open those big blue eyes of yours to check if I was still awake and watching your closet for any sign of the boogieman or monsters that you insisted lived in with your sweaters. I would always give you that same sideways glance, and you quickly would close your eyes again and feign sleep.

Even after you had long since been asleep, I'd stay up. You know that? Did you ever wake up and catch me watching you breathe deeply? I can't remember how your face looked as you slept, one hand cuddled around your new stuffed monkey and the other tightly entwined in mine. But I can still feel your hand; it's a memory I hold strongly to. I fight for memories like those.

Remember our first trip to the Kid's Isle? I guess you would have been six. I was seven, and finally deemed old enough to escort you to the island, so long as we would stick together. Not a hard promise to keep since you happily gripped my arm the entire time.

You took my hand only to drag me around behind as you explored. We found the Secret Place that day. You remember that, don't you?

Once I showed you that a small rock could be used to write on the walls, you hastily grabbed it from my hand and began scribbling something on the back wall. Every time I tried to see what you were doing, you covered it with you hands and promptly yelled at me.

When you finally moved, I saw something I could never forget. You had sloppily written our names and right under them, three large letters, 'BFF'. Of course, the character for my name was rather crooked and one of your 'F's was facing the wrong way. But even still, when I think on it now…the tears threaten to come. Though when I was young, the notion of 'best friends forever' was a foolish idea and hard for me to understand. So, instead of thanking you, I gave your head a rough smack and walked away.

It's funny…I think I know why now. I was afraid. There was no such thing as forever, not since my mom died. So, I was afraid…were you just making promises you couldn't keep? Later that week, we went back to the Secret Place and I insisted on adding something. Do you remember what it was? You sat curiously at my side. I made you close your eyes, which you agreed to after a good deal of whining. But, when I let you open them again, you smiled and hugged me.

All I had written was 'and ever' right next to your, 'BFF'. If I knew it would have made you that happy, I'd have done it sooner. We're still friends, right? I suppose that means something. It may not be for forever, but hopefully it'll be close.

Do you remember how many broken bones I had? Seven. Seven broken bones by age eight, that had to be some sort of record. You, of course, felt guilty for every one of them. It wasn't entirely your fault…it was those bullies, remember? They always picked on you. One day, I got fed up. Three ten-year olds against me? Yeah, I was one tough kid, huh? Not as to say I was injured at least once from each fight…a broken nose, a few fingers, an arm and a collar bone. That last one hurt, I'll admit it.

But I suppose all those nights you spent with me in the hospital made up for it. You would cry at first, thinking that I was going to die. Sora, you can't die from a broken nose. Although, I probably looked pretty scary with all those bandages. I didn't mind…as long as you were okay.

The nurses let you stay some nights. We practically knew them all by name since I was in there so often. They must have thought I was a real clutz, seeing how I always managed to break something. If only they knew, huh? Most nights I was too drugged up to keep awake for very long. But I remember you stayed up, like I had done for you so many times before. Couldn't trust those doctors?

It was after that where things changed. Do you remember? It was when your hand left mine, for hers. When she came…you left me.

You were happy. So, I was content to let my fingers slip to my sides while yours curled around Kairi's to lead her wherever she wanted. I followed you one day, only to find you broke our promise. You took her to our place…our Secret Place.

I was willing to share it with her. But, you never asked…I watched as you showed her all of our drawings and how you happily explained what each one was, when it was drawn, and such. Then you took her to the back wall and I remember closing my eyes and running to the paopu tree.

Remember what you had done, Sora? The two of you had drawn yourselves, right over our spot. So much for best friends forever, huh? As the years went by, your hand continuously reached for hers…and I continued to offer mine. Was I foolish?

What was it that you fought for? What kept you going after all those battles? Did you fight for the memories you made with Kairi? When I left you, I held tight to the memories of us, Sora. I kept those close to my heart until I saw you again.

So what is it that you remember? Are the memories before her or after what keep you smiling? Has the feeling of my hand faded only to be replaced by her soft touch?

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**Note:** Did I do okay? Or was it angst overload? Review with the pretty button in the corner! Please? 


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